i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
