I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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