so explain again why im purple
no
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
