What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
