first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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