I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
