I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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