I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
