It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
