Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
