At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
