yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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