you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
