what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
