would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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