I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
