So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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