if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
