his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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