Are we in a gay sports bar?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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