His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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