FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
