just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
