Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
