so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
