You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
