i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
