THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
My ATM looks so different sober.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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