my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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