He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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