do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
