Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
