Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize