Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
