***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
