I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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