handjob tips. give me some.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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