Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Randomize
