Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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