Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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