My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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