How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
