It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
