You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
