I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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