ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
