i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
