So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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