I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
What a dumb baby whore.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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