hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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