And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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