Your dad touched me again.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize