I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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