we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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