Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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