Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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