just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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