Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
