Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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