Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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