At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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