Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You took a bar mat shot.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
