If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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